It's My Party...

Next year I think I’ll go with a surprise party for Isaac. It was his 5th birthday yesterday and party planning with him was a bit of a headache. I find myself in this situation in many areas of parenting – trying to accommodate his wants and ideas within my own limits and expectations. A birthday is the perfect example. Weeks ago he said to me, “Mommy, I don’t want one of your homemade parties, I want a store party.” I played along and he didn’t even notice that it was, in fact, a homemade party except for the pirate themed paper cups and plates. And of course our biggest compromise, the piñata; he really wanted one in the shape of a treasure chest so again, we negotiated an agreement. He could have the piñata but it wasn’t going to rain down candy. We instead stuffed goodie bags for each kid inside – no trampling, no hurt feelings, less sugar and more order.

The pirate bingo and treasure hunt, the tablecloth and the balloons were all things that had to be worked out. And by worked out, I mean me getting the desired outcome while creating the illusion of collaboration. And it was perfect -- just the right amount of Isaac’s over-the-top fun and my reigned in, frugally creative fun.

And while I could control the cost and direction of the party, I can’t actually control Isaac. He didn’t exactly get the gratitude thing when he was the man of the hour. He tore into the gifts without any regard for who it was from much less how thoughtful it was of his friends to bring gifts they knew he’d love. This was especially hard for Kramer who kept trying to slow him down and remind him to say thank you and do some obligatory oooooing before ripping into the next gift bag. It was not exactly our proudest moment but it wasn’t much of a teaching moment either. I did feel better when today I was saying what an awesome birthday he had and hinted at what we needed to do. Without hesitation Isaac said, “Thank you notes.” So, we’ll chalk it up to the sheer ecstasy of having a birthday party and be so very proud of our 5 year old in every other way!