Friday, August 22, 2008

Stay Out Of The Way

A question…. If you were school shopping with your Kindergartener and he picked out the absolute pinkest, most girly backpack you have ever seen, what would you do?

I talked him out of it and since that moment have been feeling like a jerk, a very unenlightened jerk. Isaac can go either way on the gender rules and we have never made a big deal of it because mostly who cares, but my instinct was to push him right over to his own side of that line. Of course I didn’t tell him it was too feminine or that kids at school might think he grabbed his sister’s bag by mistake because I didn’t want him to feel one bit bad about liking it, I just lied and said it was too expensive.

I know what made me do it, wanting to protect him at least a little until he has a better understanding of how to make his way in this world, so why am I feeling like I totally let him down? Because I didn’t just say sure, go for it kid, be exactly who you are! I got in his way even if he doesn’t know it.

He wasn’t even disappointed and ended up choosing a most manly camouflage number because like I said, it is hard to put his taste in a category of any kind. For the record I tried to talk him out of that one too and just go with a nice, practical solid color with cool straps, but he had likely had enough of my input.


Marisa said...

I love how 5 year olds are simply themselves and just like what they like, clueless of social pressures! But I would absolutely do the same thing!

The Deiberts said...

I would have to say that I would do the same thing too. I do it sometimes when Charlotte picks things out and then when she goes with my choice I feel bad. I am sure he is happy with his choice and you didn't hurt him. It is so hard. They are right the problems do get bigger as they grow up!