The Force of Feelings

Libby and I are in over our emotional heads lately. We are dealing with our pesky and every changing feelings in our own ways and it’s hard to say how well. We are like the table of contents in a self-help book: Disappointment, the Early Years and Growling Getting in the Way of Your Good Intentions?

Libby is on a very tearful journey right now. She cries at the drop of a hat as it seems she is growing emotionally and discovering a new range of experiences – disappointment has her firmly in it’s grasp. She is still her overall cheerful self but much more apt to pout and sob when she feels let down. I am having trouble finding the right response to her intense reactions and hard-to-please demeanor.

After much discussion about a Star Wars themed Halloween (9+ months away) and how we have nothing that works as a Princess Leia costume in the dress-up clothes, I found a woman on Etsy.com who sews a simple white dress described as Leia or angel. Libby waited 10 agonizing days for it to come and stood outside shivering and willing the mail carrier to make his way up our block the day it was scheduled to arrive. We tore it open, put it on and… instant tears. The sleeves are a little long. After all that waiting and dreaming she was overcome. I’ll admit it was tough not to get all listen-here-kid at her weeping disappointment because earlier that day as a distraction from the mail truck watch, we went to the craft store to get materials for making a Princess Leia belt. We Googled pictures of Carrie Fisher from the 70’s and I was feeling like I had really gone the extra mile on this one with the dress searching, belt making and checking the post office tracking website daily. The crying and flapping of arms lost inside those damn sleeves made my own negative feelings flare up too quickly.

I should be better at this part of parenting as I am sort of a feelings junkie myself. When Kramer and I took our pre-marital classes in preparation for our wedding, we were given a mini personality assessment. I was off the charts on the feeling side of the thinking/feeling category. I’d like to think my score would be a little more balanced if I took it now, 10 years later, but, well, it wouldn’t. That’s why I love my girlfriends and watching things like the recent series on PBS, This Emotional Life. These things speak right to that part of me that knows all feelings can be helpful but need to be well-managed. What I don’t love doing is trying to teach the healthy management part to young children when I’m still figuring out how to do that myself – be a more balanced, more productive feeler.

We temporarily fixed the sleeves with double-sided tape. If only there was a tape for sticking to one’s good intentions.