Summer, Good; Fall, Frightening

Oh how I’ve been enjoying this summer full of summery things like the pool, outdoor eating, lakes, ice cream, hanging out in back yards past dark and past reasonable bedtimes. We’ve put on a lot of biking miles and taken an ill-fated canoe voyage. We’re going camping this weekend with friends and we haven’t even had the pleasure of our family vacation to Camp Olson yet. Having a 5 and 7 year old feels like a new kind of freedom – freedom to have actual fun instead of what we used to call fun but was really just leaving the house with a plan and playing the odds that we would all have the stamina to make it back. So, it’s been a rather dreamy summer and yet I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have my late July jitters.

Yes, the calendar says it’s late July and that means we’re at 1 month before school starts and life as we know it changes. I have been churning in my mind and my gut the reality of Libby starting Kindergarten and both of them going to a new school because even though she never attended Armatage, it was her future school and she has felt the loss too. Last year it was so nice to send Isaac off on the first day knowing he knew his way around, he’d have Max to sit with on the bus and there would be plenty of familiar kids and adults to greet him by name. But now we’re back to crappy square one. At least we’re there with lots of other families we know but it is still starting over and not exactly on the right foot after an unfortunate “shadow day” at the end of last year that went a bit awry. I have been afraid to talk about school supplies for fear of reminding them that the first day of school means the first day at the new school.

And then there’s me. My stay-home-mom status ends in a month as far as I’m concerned. My status becomes: unemployed. I know lots of moms stay home when their children are in school all day and yet for me, Libby starting Kindergarten means that my time is up. One of Isaac’s friends’ mom who still has a preschooler was saying how great it will be when I have both kids at school and how much I’ll get done. She mentioned looking forward to scrapbooking when her youngest flies the coop. Really? I’m thinking more about retirement funds that haven't seen any action in 5+ years than my photo albums. As Kramer and Snoop Doggy Dog would say... time to get me a jobby job.