Yesterday I had a sick kid home with me and it reminded me how very quickly I’ve adapted to my daytime freedom. Maybe freedom is the wrong word because I haven’t been trapped or kept against my will exactly; I’m talking about walking to the grocery store when I need to pick something up for dinner, running both necessary and elective errands, do-it-yourself projects of all kinds, volunteering at school several times a week, running downtown for my internship to show my “boss” what I’ve designed for a promotional piece. And maybe more than anything a certain peacefulness of doing these things without that sound of a clock ticking in my head telling me that I have to hurry or I should get home, I’ve been gone too long… freedom to move about the cabin instead of a certain “buckled in” feeling.
On one hand this feels great and on the other hand, it feels wrong that I’m not buckled to anything (or anyone). I don’t have such a clear purpose as I move about this new lifestyle. The kids have been in school for 7 weeks. I thought it was only 6 but I checked and it’s 7. I like the sound of 6 better – it seems like a reasonable amount of time to be free but 7 is getting into a very grey area. I like the idea of grey for my next painting project but I’m hoping for something brighter in the weeks to come.
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